Newly-minted Silicon Valley millionaires don't know how to handle their money and it's ruining their love lives, says an elite matchmaker known as the 'cupid of Silicon Valley'

Business Insider | Jul 19, 2019, 09.25PM IST

amy andersen

Justin Colt

Amy Andersen of Linx Dating - the "Cupid of Silicon Valley."

Dating is tough, but it might be even harder if you're a millionaire in Silicon Valley.

Millionaires in the Valley aren't always well-adjusted to their new wealth, which can lead to some mistakes on the dating scene, according to Amy Andersen of Linx Dating, in San Francisco. Known as the "Cupid of Silicon Valley," Andersen is one of six elite matchmakers I spoke to for Business Insider's month-long series, "Dating Like a Millionaire." Her rates range from $35,000 for a basic premium silver membership to $500,000 for global searches.

The matchmakers work with high-net-worth individuals - from royals and celebrities to entrepreneurs and CEOs - locally and globally, who have a net worth ranging from the low millions into the billions. All of them said that one of the most common mistakes millionaires make when dating is showing off, or leading with their wealth.

Andersen calls this "peacocking," or overdoing it early in the relationship.

"Showing up in a Ferrari for example, or talking way too much about career success and history at the very beginning, not only might come off arrogant but also does not highlight some of their more important personal qualities," she said. "It might also very well attract exactly the wrong kind of people."

Read more: The 3 biggest mistakes millionaires make when dating, according to 6 elite matchmakers who help the ultra-wealthy find love

But the newly minted millionaire in Silicon Valley can "peacock" more than the average millionaire elsewhere - there can be more "flash and bragging" involved, although that's not always the case, she said.

"Sometimes the millionaire in Silicon Valley doesn't know how to act with this newfound wealth, and they are trying to get comfortable in that role," Andersen said, adding that it takes some adjusting and social acclimating to get used to new wealth.

She continued: "Sometimes it involves friends calling out the new millionaire and telling him to not act like a buffoon ... to just be himself and remember where he 'came from.' In other words, it takes colleagues and contemporaries to bring the millionaire back to their roots and baseline."

Essentially, some of these tech millionaires need to be humbled a bit, she said.

That might be wise considering that, for millionaires on the dating scene, money can buy not just fancy dates, but also a host of problems. Showing off wealth can breed entitlement, resulting in both challenges and dating missteps, according to the matchmakers.

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